I beg your indulgence for the impersonal salutation. Unfortunately, due to the many changes occurring in a large number of bookstores lately, I never quite certain who’s sitting at the helm jerking the tiller at any particular store at any particular time. Even if you were sitting there today reading this, you might get fired tomorrow, or your store will go out of business or be closed by a corporate entity, you might even commit suicide or fall victim to a fatal drug overdose, but that’s the chance I’ll have to take, not to mention poison, fatal meteor showers or means of death yet more esoteric. That being said, I realize that your time is valuable and the responsibilities vast, so I will quickly and with brief yet cogent alacrity bring this letter to important point.
In 2012 the Fallopian Press will be publishing In The Cold Dark Depths of Super Secret, a monumental block buster novel by Courtney J. Gafoor that’s sure to rock your world as well as interest an overwhelming number of your store’s patronizing readers. The Fallopian press plans a 60 million copy first printing, backed by an 3 figure extensive marketing campaign that includes radio satellite zeppelin and 42 city (and Ypsilanti) personal author tour, advertising, special bus station promotions, web marketing the book reader, pop-ups on Mark Maynard’s blog, Newt Gingrich for President websites, and author interview streaming video at Deja Vu Showgirl club and during in-flight movies on Allegheny Airlines. There will be a special “Soiree Du Coffee” literary symposium and typewriting marathon of Courtney retyping the entire book in the basement of Ain’t We Literate, the only bookstore in downtown Ann Arbor where you can buy a new Philip Roth Book (if there’s no plumbing problems or coffee dripping from the ceiling that day). And more.
Gafoor’s new novel is a suspenseful, humorous, romantic, exciting and hard-hitting paranormal blockbuster mystery which suddenly skews generic convention to continually surprise readers with reversals of their assumptions, expectations and appetites. It’s the story of Charles Philip Ferringfold, a famous orchestra conductor, who dreams of fulfilling his boyhood vision of becoming a subway conductor, a career that was denied him when a vengeful career counselor forged the word orchestra for the word subway on his permanent record card. Powerful forces in the metropolitan opera however want to deny his dream because the latest Concerto by Middle Eastern composer Ali Ben Fatwa entitled Death to the Great Satan is to include a secret message signaling the beginning of a terrorist attack, and Charles is the only one who can handle its tricky staccato passages. Even when he does achieve his dream of the subway the terrorist menace follows him there, in the form of germ warfare concealed in a jar of a child’s Skippy peanut butter (chunky). His nemesis, a killing machine has been in a deep cover sleeper cell posing as a gym teacher for many years, and is now running for president, the very man who used to ridicule Charles for not being able to climb the ropes and encouraged his classmates to cut off his peroxided hair. Can Charles overcome the demons of his past, save the United States, and win the hand of harpist/brakewoman/exotic dancer Christina de la Fontanableau? You can bet millions of readers will be salivating on the pages in order to find out!
Gafoor is the best-selling author of the four previous best-selling novel thriller blockbuster monuments, including The Great Baloney Dump Mystery, previously published by WTF books and optioned for movie rights by Cicely Tyson and Tanya Roberts. Gafoor has a great track record of producing books that hit the ground running on topics pertinent to the national discourse and worries of the average American and their pets, including The Eagle and the Beagle.
Bookjakarta reviewed one of Courtney Gafoor’s previous books as “in the English” and “puzzling stuff.” Liberty Journal praised another as “possibly the product of human intelligence.” Mary Higgins Clark praised Courtney as “a very persistent and crafty woman determined to discover my home phone number.” The Toledo Blade termed her villain as “along the lines of Charles Manson and Richard Speck.” And Publican’s Weekly’s review stated “it’s like Dr. Seuss and Sidney Sheldon had a love child and fed it Drano from birth.”
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Courtney Gafoor is a practicing aroma therapist and novelist who has worked as a senior adviser for Mark Maynard, the notable blogger God and inventor of the extremely popular Ypsipanty and founder of the Movies by the River series of movies by the river. For many years she was the extremely successful cadre strong suggestion leader of the student outreach extortion cell at Shaman Drum Bookshop. Her professional work as well as her experiences with Mark provide the foundation for her passion: telling a simple story in a way that will enthrall and generate millions. Both Courtney and her husband Rossty are graduates of the Central Tech Emerging Human Program and live in Ypsilanti’s Depot town. Like the hero of her book, Charles, Courtney enjoys conducting to old phonograph records, thinking about people on the subway, walking, eating, drinking, sleeping and reading comic books, but only good ones.
To book an interview or request review copies, complementary coasters or to purchase a attractive or novelty painted tie, please contact Rossty Gafoor at The Great Lakes Literary Arts Center, currently located at the rear table of the Deja Vu artful dancing club.
Thank you very much ever so for your time and consideration!
Sincerely Rossty Gafoor editor/publisher/typesetter/publicist